*ahem* posting...posting...1...2...3...

single male looking for a ride back from baltimore at the finis de yom tov
please inform
gut moeid

Oh master, where art thou?

Eight days have sorrowfully passed,
Since the blog saw Shmulik last;
When his pent-up rage maliciously surfaced,
To attack me was his only purpose.
But, pray tell, whence came he,
to pounce and gnaw so furiously?
And, pray tell, where can be,
Shmulik's mirthful curiosity?
Preemptively assassinated, perhaps,
or taking yuppie power naps?
Crikey's hostage for a day,
frozen in fright, there to stay?
Shmulik may come,
and Shmulik may go,
but Shmulik how we love you so.

Gifts gone Bad

Apparently, now I know why my gift never made it to Diana.

Over the Hill

Alright, campers. Time to wish DianaNow a very merry birthday. She loves attention. And her father would love to remind her that she's not getting any younger...

I'd love to see some birthday pics...

Pesach

If Camp SOY were to go somewhere for Pesach, where would it be? Miami Beach to catch some sun? Poconos- to catch some food? Israel-to catch some Torah? Florence- to get away from Jews?

All I know is that if I could do it all over again, I'd go to Russia for Pesach on one of those programs. For one, the food can't really be much worse than regular Pesach food. Two, I could really sound very impressive at work if I had "extensive travel to Russia" under my belt. They relocate people for a quarter million dollars to get experience in "emerging marketplaces."

Darn. And I missed out on the coed trip thing too.

Mr. Cutie Pie

Mr. Cutie Pie.

Shmulik, my nephew will be vying with you for president, and I'd like to see how you fare. It's soooo over, your reign of terror is over before it has even started. My nephew is firm, fortitudinous, and has plans to take YU where it has never gone before. Shmulik, meet your match.

Shmulik Chwosenberg meets Crikey and goes berserk.

A very interesting phenomenon occurred last night, which, parenthetically, is both a disgrace to all males and, more broadly, to all humans.
Diana decided to surprise Shmulik with Crikey, your friendly, neighborhood, severed baby alligator head. Diana posited that Shmulik would freak out upon laying eyes on on Crikey, to which I replied I couldn't believe, seeing at is an inanimate object that doesn't even have a bottom to its head. Boy was I wrong.
So Shmulik walks in, Diana slowly unwraps the alligator out of its plastic baggies, takes it out, and moves towards Shmulik, whereupon Shmulik about-faced and ran from the room shrieking like a little girl. I must note that I have never seen Shmulik move with such gusto. I'm sorry to say that those who didn't see his face missed out on about a 5-minute, lengthy bout of laughter. Upon returning, Shmulik once again flipped out when he saw it, making rapid gesticulations to protect himself in the midst of producing incredibly funny faces.
When asked what all the commotion was for, Shmulik mumbled something about snakes; we didn't understand what he meant but I think he was trying to connect alligator and snake through their reptilian origins. In any case, we tried to explain that Crikey is just a head and is inanimate, to which he replied "I hate animals". We once again tried to explain that Crikey is dead, but our explanations fell on deaf ears.
I think Diana's boss has discovered the kryptonite that will help us control Shmulik.
Thank you Diana's boss.

A Thousand Words

If anybody has some Camp SOY pics they'd like to share, or videos for that matter, there is a way to share them on this blog. Send them to me, and I'll get them put up. Because this blog is about laughing at each other, and nothing makes you snort your milk up your snout like humiliating pictures/videos of coworkers/friends. I don't like putting my email on the internet, so take five seconds to ask one of your fellow SOYers how to reach me if you don't know how to already. Bonus points if you're female and single.

A New Generation

I don't know if everybody out there fully appreciates this, but Shmulik has really made a significant number of improvements to the Sale. Most glaring would be the transfer of the sale to Weisberg Commons. I want everybody to reach deep inside and share with the group what they feel is Shmulik's biggest contribution. Some of you are too young to know me or what things were like in the past, but let me remind you - Shmulik is still probably even younger than you...

Fun and Games

One of the best games ever invented first appeared at the Seforim Sale last year. You may never have heard of it, but that should be no indication of how famous the game is. It just shows how out of the loop you are.

The game was called "Name the Animal that Josh would think I am." The rules were simple. Everybody goes around in a circle, taking turns saying what animal they would be compared to. Not in their own eyes. Not in the eyes of those around them. But in my eyes. Popular variations included making animal noises, explaining your answers, and, yes, sadly, calling me to tell me the results.

Post your own here.

A plea for help.

The blog is dying because Shmulik's infernal machinations have shut it down. He has also kidnapped Josh and is holding him ransom in that little room in his office.
To bring the blog back online and secure Josh's freedom large cash donations will be necessary. These donations are to be dropped off in Mivtzar Shel HaNassi Shmulik.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Visit

Having been to YU for the weekend, I can now say with expertise what is wrong with the place. Apparently they saved money during construction of the whole place by not actually using any mortar when they put the brick on all the buildings. What saved them money then is coming back to bite them now. Unless I got it all wrong, and the scaffolding is meant as a decorative touch. Either way it makes it harder for certain boys in Morg facing Amsterdam to watch the Stern shuttle unload its wares...

El Presidente de Un Manojo del Perdedores: ¿Dónde Está Su Lealtad?

In an earlier post, Josh toyed with the idea that this forum would be a good place for "legions" of Shmulik adherents to unanimously declare their faith and allegiance to El Presidente (del futuro).
Where did Josh go wrong? Not only has no-one commented on Josh's post, but I don't think I've heard anything positive about Shmulik so far! (Well I might be to blame for that but I don't think I've said anything negative per se; just that shmulik's a robot.) I guess I'll just have to be dan l'kaf z'chus that it's pashut that everone wants Shmulik to be president. Or that no-one really cares about SOY elections (my personal shitah). Or that no-one knows when SOY elections are. Or that we all want Diana to beat Shmulik. Oh, and Diana, if you're not running, you should run just to spite Shmulik.
Toodles.