Thursday, April 14, 2005

Shmulik Chwosenberg meets Crikey and goes berserk.

A very interesting phenomenon occurred last night, which, parenthetically, is both a disgrace to all males and, more broadly, to all humans.
Diana decided to surprise Shmulik with Crikey, your friendly, neighborhood, severed baby alligator head. Diana posited that Shmulik would freak out upon laying eyes on on Crikey, to which I replied I couldn't believe, seeing at is an inanimate object that doesn't even have a bottom to its head. Boy was I wrong.
So Shmulik walks in, Diana slowly unwraps the alligator out of its plastic baggies, takes it out, and moves towards Shmulik, whereupon Shmulik about-faced and ran from the room shrieking like a little girl. I must note that I have never seen Shmulik move with such gusto. I'm sorry to say that those who didn't see his face missed out on about a 5-minute, lengthy bout of laughter. Upon returning, Shmulik once again flipped out when he saw it, making rapid gesticulations to protect himself in the midst of producing incredibly funny faces.
When asked what all the commotion was for, Shmulik mumbled something about snakes; we didn't understand what he meant but I think he was trying to connect alligator and snake through their reptilian origins. In any case, we tried to explain that Crikey is just a head and is inanimate, to which he replied "I hate animals". We once again tried to explain that Crikey is dead, but our explanations fell on deaf ears.
I think Diana's boss has discovered the kryptonite that will help us control Shmulik.
Thank you Diana's boss.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

make up your mind, is it a crocodile head or an alligator? you posted on both and it can only be one.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Ettie said...

I unfortunately saw the alligator last night. I no longer believe he’s Craig the crocodile...he’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ll call him shnasty.
Diana, I’m so sorry to offend you and him, but it’s really gross.

12:55 PM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

To be clear: he's an alligator but we're calling him Crikey for want of a better name.

If you think that's scary, imagine a full-grown, fiesty, territorial alligator; or, better yet, just imagine the music section guy.

1:09 PM  
Blogger EMS said...

Guys, if Shmulik hates animals, then I must say, kudos to us -- he tolerated us all!!

1:54 AM  
Blogger DianaNOW said...

EMS, what's with the Shmulik favoritism?! Which Seforim Sale did you work at?! Clearly, not the one that the rest of us Camp SOYers were at!

I apologize for any confusiong regarding Crikey -- I clearly don't know the difference between alligators and crocodiles... But Tabak has kindly confirmed that he's an alligator -- but the name Crikey is gonna stick!

I will also attest to last night's event...WOW was that ever so funny! Well worth my trip uptown! Shmulik loved it so much that he invited me to come uptown tonight, under the impression that I had some paperwork to do but I know the truth.... He wanted to see Crikey!

Ettie, I apologize that you were horrified by his site. I'll be sure to give him proper care that he'll be ready to greet you properly next time!

3:26 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

Why on earth are there not any Crikey pictures yet? Those of us slightly removed would like a better picture of this frightening beast.

Ettie - Would you call him scary or shnasty? Scary is when you're walking through an alley at night and some guy jumps out from behind you. Shnasty is when that same alley is filled with garbage pretty much anytime.

10:25 PM  
Blogger etaham PUNK! said...

oooboy, an anonymous person! camp soy is goin public and accepting applications for the summer!!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

Silly EtaHam, Camp SOY is a winter affair. The lake had too many leaches for warm weather use. Although we should start looking for appropriate bunks near the campground. Anybody know of any apartments near 184th and Amsterdam? We'll build the girls bunk first. That way Shmulik can cut back on the 4 AM runs, and focus on running from Diana's Croc.

4:57 PM  

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