Wednesday, November 23, 2005

As Ruler I Will Lead the People to Spiritual Purity, Of Both Mind and Body. -Excerpt from the Tabaqi Doctrine

With the "mysterious" disappearance of Benmergui, I am happy to continue with my daily proclamation of my sovereignty and dominion over the civilized world, from the far reaches of India to the shores of Ethiopia. And now that none stand in my way, I will be able to rule with an iron fist and restore religious fanaticism to correct the blatant waywardness of the people. Actually, all I ask is for religious moderation as outlined in my latest, and most ambitious, plan.
You see, recently it has become known to his highness that a new movement has stepped up and now holds sway throughout the kingdom. This nefarious conglomerate has named its amorphous body of individuals the Champions of Jewish-singles Fraternization, or, as it is known in its vernacular acronym form, the CJF. The CJF is currently holding the old conglomerate hostage, using its footholds, connections, and track record to continue to build the trust of the community, until its mission has been executed. His highness has just learned that at the very point of completion and success the hostage will, unfortunately, be terminated. Therefore, I, Sultan Ibrahim Abdul-Dauni ibn al-Abdul Tabaqi, have declared that an all out war shall be perpetrated against this foreign infection that threatens the very vitality and future of our community. We must oust the evildoers and reinstate those who represent the real will of the people, the Moderate Supporters of DeCoedifying Sponsored trips (MSDCS).
Volunteers are unnecessary as conscriptions will begin tomorrow.
May it be the will of G-d.

Accusation

It will be duly noted that I have been accused of having not destroyed the reign of Daniel Tabak. This is an announcement. The eViL reign of Daniel Tabak has come to an end as of today, November 23, 2005 at approximately 13:28. All those in favor, say I. This court has been adjourned. Thank you.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The End to Tabak's Reign of Terror

I have decided to end Tabak's exclusive hogging (is that a word?) of the Camp SOY blog. This is my first actual post and my side kick DianaNOW is here to help. Together we are here to take back the blog and once and for all show whose boss. We're going to change the theme of the blog and start discussing feminist rights -- yes, you heard us, femenazisim (that is deffinitely NOT a word). Tabak, wherever you may be, watch your back because the eViL duo is BACK! We've paid our dues and you will be fined immediately for sexist comments made a few months ago regarding brown hair color. Josh, you will be fined as well for simply being yourself. Your exsistence is an afront to ALL women out there. We are here to save the rest of women kind, who you have not yet affected. And to those that thought the end of the blog was near, fear not, as we are back and ready for hock. Please stand by.