Thursday, March 31, 2005

Ah, Memories

As I was sitting in my cubicle today, I suddenly realized that I absolutely missed having people plow skid movers into closed doors. Or topple pallets stacked with heavy books...onto other workers. Or stealing cash from the registers. Good times.

I mean at Kraft, I try and pull anything funny, and I just get a bunch of blank looks. I mean is it that abnormal for a guy to climb from one cubicle to another? Or putt a golf ball down the hall?

You can't get away with anything in corporate America. My suggestion to you all - Enjoy it while you can. Shmulik really is much more forgiving than the mainstream workplace.


Blogger DianaNOW said...

I would ask theFAVORITE about that one -- after drawing some interesting pictures and what not on the boxes of books being returned to Artscroll, well to put it mildly, Shmulik had a coniption fit! and only forgave theFAVORITE after she gave him a peace offering of Marzipan Rugalach (yes, that is his weakness!!)

10:41 PM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Wow, Marzipan Rugelach, that's an expensive peace-offering here in America; it's probably cheaper to fly to israel and bring some back at the rates they're currently going for.
And about shmulik, what can we say? He just doesn't know how to appreciate aesthetics in general, and in this case, art.

11:58 PM  
Blogger theFAVORITE said...

Actually, the artwork on the Artscroll boxes were part of an effort to take things "more seriously" at the SOY Seforim Sale. The exceptional artistic quality of the drawings set off some intellectually stimulating debates as to whether the works were more reminiscent of Picasso’s blue period or similar in taste to what some very naughty seven year olds might sketch on their mother’s milky white kitchen wall. Regardless of where your opinion stands on this debate, the colored boxes accomplished their goal - they confirmed to those intellectual snobs at Artscroll that we are a “serious” force to be dealt with. Shmulik can thank me later...

11:58 PM  
Blogger DianaNOW said...

The art work was a little on the morbid side -- but then again, the message conveyed in the art was plain for all to see -- "Death to Artscroll!, The Seforim Sale shall reign!" -- Like theFAVORITE said -- we needed to show Artscroll we mean buisness!

12:25 AM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Don't want to make a new post so i'll shtupp my comment in here:

Um, miss fave, I just want to say that I hope your "all about me" link isn't actually an apt description of you; there are some, ahem, let us say "interesting", descriptive phrases included in the litany of definitively jappy characterstics.

1:28 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

You're right about the "interesting" characteristics. No wonder she is the "Fave." Everyone has a role at Camp SOY. Some do things, others just are on display for the freak show.

6:49 PM  
Blogger theFAVORITE said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:54 PM  
Blogger theFAVORITE said...

willworkfofood, although I hesitate to question the accuracy of ANY information posted on this site - whose commitment to truth and reason we all know is of such a high standard, I would dare say it ranks right up there with the esteemed CBS news channel - I must comment on a just a few minor inaccuracies in the descriptive traits listed in the “All About Me” link. First, (and this is not so much an inaccuracy as it is a point I would like to stress) I do not approve of the use of vulgar language (nivel peh) unless it is directed at NY traffic or self-important Israeli-accented skinny foreigners who appear to be under the illusion that they hold some type of authority position or something. Second, while I am Jewish as well as royalty, I can thankfully affirm that I am by no means an american (proof being in the fact that my favorite sport is Football - which you might refer to as “soccer” - and that I am well versed in geography, of the non-Jewish type, as well as world news). Third, I would like to clarify that my impeccable taste in style and my appreciation for the finer things in life are a reflection of my unremitting devotion to Yiddeshkite - I am committed to appreciating all the marvelous things Hashem has put on this here Earth. Finally, aside from the non-tzanua clothing, crude physical descriptions, excessive make-up, and low pain tolerance everything else is pretty much on the mark - and I would say are also an accurate description of the person who ACTUALLY put it up as a link...JOSH!
And one here is a freak... we're all just "special" - expcept for shmulik, of course, he's a freak robot.

7:57 PM  
Blogger the_elder said...

If you want a skid mover ploughed into your cubicle just call and I think I can arrange it. Would you like some mac 'n' cheese with that?

9:22 PM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Vayehi bimei haShah...
Look Sammy, I know you're FOB from Shiraz, Tehran, etc.; however, here in the new country it's spelled P-L-O-W. It's not spelled like dough or pronounced like pluff. It's plow, with a southern twang at the end.
Long live the Shah!

Miss Fave, thanks for clearing things up; that site makes some nasty insinuations for those who might term themselves princesses of the Jewish variety.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

Just a few points for clean up.

For the record, I believe "ploughed" is an acceptable spelling. As our local liason to the farm belt midwestern community, I annoint myself the expert on the subject. Also, I would like some mac n' cheese with that, since you're offering.

The Favorite never denies some of the most disgusting insinuations of her description. Must be throwbacks from her own days running from third world countries. Looks like she and the Elder have something in common. It's no wonder she has(d) diplomatic immunity.

9:57 AM  

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