Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Shmulik: The Walking Contradiction (literally)

I just want posit a couple of personal theories on how to possibly resolve what appears to the shrewd and discerning eye as a continually paradoxical occurrence:
1. Shmulik does not eat.
2. Shmulik appears to exhibit all signs of a continually living, breathing life-form.
Resolutions:
1. Shmulik feeds intravenously in the cellar when no-one is looking; hence, he is able to not provide workers with food by saying: "look, do you see me eating, and I've been working all day!" when in reality this is clearly not true, you intravenously-feeding freak.
2. Shmulik is a robot. This will also help explain a serious lack of ability to display more than one emotion. Tell me: when was the last time YOU saw shmulik smile?
Feel free to add, criticize, or revel in my theories.
Ciao.

5 Comments:

Blogger Menachem Butler said...

did you see the article about shmulik in the purim issue of the commentator? note: though my name is attached to it, i did not write it...

11:45 AM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Somehow I missed that article; thanks for pointing it out. Oh, and if it wasn't you, whoever wrote it deserves some serious props.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

I don't get the implication. Menachem, are you suggesting that Marissa Tomei is attracted to Shmulik because of his lack of a need to eat? I guess that would be fitting for a woman who most likely has eating disorders. But heaven forfend we suspect Shmulik of merely worrying about his girlish figure. If he grew in size, it would just be an excuse for another shopping excursion.

8:45 PM  
Blogger EMS said...

Shmulik...shopping?!?!?!? no way!!!

2:08 AM  
Blogger DianaNOW said...

do you know Smulik -- hes obsessed with shopping!!! who do you think goes with him on his shopping sprees?! ya. you go it -- ME! and when Josh is in town -- he comes along for the entertainment!

9:58 AM  

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