Tuesday, April 12, 2005

It's Time

So I have been sitting here all this time reading your words of wisdom and it's time to end my misery. I AM RESPONDING (as if that’s not obvious.)
The truth is that I was caught up with a serious security investigation on a lost ____ (censored.) It was a wonderful opportunity for Eli to use our fake cameras to locate the breach. Finally, together with our neighbors, and commanders, we were able track it all back to Set Land. We herby give you Mr. Will work for Tur an opportunity to step forward and confess for your despicable behavior.

Having said that, it feels good to be back!

9 Comments:

Blogger Josh said...

Shmulik??!!?? Is that you or an imposter? I counted the typos and have concluded that there aren't enough to really be you. But then again, the humor has a distinct, how shall I say it, Israeli touch.

Welcome to the fray - maybe you can be our savior. Instead of just spewing random garbage, we can now spew garbage aimed at you. My one word of caution to all you Shmulik fans out there - and I'm telling you this as one a blog administrator (I can delete your posts) - please try and stay just to the right side of the line. This is a public domain, and if you cross the line, you'll be "x-ed".

9:34 AM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Newsflash!
In an ironic turn of events I have caught a spelling mistake that will not only vindicate the impostor, but verify Shmulik's identity as poster of the blog.
Note the word "koma" in the author's name; it takes a true Israeli to lack the requisite finesse to decipher the recondite pattern of the Artscrollian laws of transliteration: if it ends in a "hey" it gets an "h" at the end, and if it doesn't, well then it doesn't get an "h".

In any case, SHMULIK, Mr. I worked for Tur has received his Tur and doesn't need to work any more at the seforim sale: how do you like them apples? (he's not going to get that will he?)

Oh, and yes, I admit to having disabled the security in Setland. Yes Shmulik, Setland is one word, but I'm sure you know that seeing as you're in charge of the sale.

7:49 PM  
Blogger DianaNOW said...

Shmulik -- stop the crying because you can't spy on all your girl friends coming off the shuttle because you have a scaffolding blocking your view. Josh will teach you new ways to watch and spy on girls -- don't worry....

10:29 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

DianaNow - I'm sorry, I don't have any other tricks up my sleeve. I'm afraid all I can do is post the times and locations of any future dates so that Shmulik can follow me around. You know, learn from a pro...

8:05 AM  
Blogger EMS said...

Maybe, Shmulik, this scaffolding will have a good influence on you, allowing you to study some more this semester........:)

1:59 AM  
Blogger DianaNOW said...

Josh, that would be a pretty rigorous course for our strapping young lad. Might want to take it easy on him, like maybe show him one date a month, I'm not sure he could handle more that that.

EMS, What an innovative idea, studying or maybe even learning (what's that!?) who would have ever thunk that Shmulik knew to do anything other than run the most amazing seforim sales (yes, that was plural) ever!

3:12 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

You get a bigger Zechus enabling hundreds of people to learn than you could possibly ever amass on your own. Plus you get to pocket some cash.

10:37 PM  
Blogger WillWorkForFood said...

Yes, you also empower the kofrim with the ability to utterly misrepresent Judaism and its Torah-values; distorting, perverting, and misquoting our ancient, holy texts. Now THAT is a zechus you don't just get by sitting and learning in the beis...

11:09 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

I assume you're not implying that Kuntres is not part of the Ikrei HaEmunah...

5:00 PM  

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